"While I on the fringes, observe a world to which I am not permitted to enter..."

"While I on the fringes, observe a world to which I am not permitted to enter..."

I stopped being human long ago

And I often stop to ask
To weep
To wail
To appeal to the greater energy

Please release me from this pain

For humans at least know the joys of love
They dance and wallow
In its intoxicating rays

While I on the fringes,
Observe a world to which I am not permitted to enter
— Musings of a Young Composer by Elizabeth A. Baker

The last month has been one of reflection... a very introverted month among a sea of extrovert endeavors. The one thing that I learned early in my young journey as an artist... as a female artist in a male dominated field... as a coloured woman who conceived of thoughts outside the stereotyped norm of "black" culture... my existence is always on the fringes. And this gift for music for art, requires that I sacrifice my humanity for my art... Lucky for me, I never had to make the choice between my social life and art because various circumstances of perpetual rejection in this "modern culture" of which so many are obsessed, make it easy to delve into work.

You must not be a human being, not for yourself but only for others: for you there is no longer any happiness except within yourself, in your art. O God! give me strength to conquer myself nothing at all must fetter me to life.
— Beethoven (1812 Tagebuch)

To be an artist... to be a professional artist, is much more difficult and trying than many will ever understand. To go on tour, to live a life where work is part of the fibre of your being, and that your hours will never be normal... this is hard for many people to understand. You try to explain, but how can one build a bridge of words across abyss?

Being an artist, is not a choice; the muses choose you to channel creativity into the world. Destiny however, has but one path and there are consequences in fire for those attempt to deviate from the task that has been assigned to them in light.